The other night, Allie received a phone call that by the look on her face was completely unexpected. We were all in the car, driving home from my parents on a Saturday night when her cell rang. It was obviously a one sided conversation, as she responded mostly with very thoughtful "yes"'s and "maybe"'s. It was really like watching someone in a movie, talking to headquarters in front of the bad guys. Maybe we watch too many movies...After a bit and a whole lot more single word responses, she hung up and didn't say anything. I glanced in the rear view mirror and saw a funny little smirk on her face. Finally, her sister broke the silence and queried "who was that?". Allie returned a look that spoke volumes, the look that means "shut up, I don't want to talk about it..." Weird. Our girls' lives are actually very transparent...I know there are some secrets that we as parents, are unaware of. But for the most part, we're all pretty close. So this wasn't making sense.
My job as dad is to be the thick, lunk-headed dope that is insensitive and basically a dolt. I take this job very seriously. So it was my time to shine. I blurted out, "who was that, your boyfriend?". The look that she shot Kelly was nothing compared to the "shut yer freakin' mouth" glare that I received. "No, no way!" was her verbal response. Kristie seized the moment and took control. "It's none of our business who it was. Let's all leave her alone." That's why she's the mom.
A few seconds later I peaked in the mirror again and saw her smile again, directed at me. Something was up, I knew it. A minute or so later, she broke. "It was Andrew from school. He wants to come over tonight. And Dad, you can't go to bed until he gets there..."
What on earth was going on?
Back story time: Andrew was a senior at the School, who just graduated. He is a good-looking kid and one of the "big men on campus" types. I had in my class and he and I got to know each other very well. I nicknamed him "White Shoes" because he wore white shoes (duh...) when he played football. It was a nickname that I acquired once upon a time, and it stuck with him. A number of people would shout out "Hey White Shoes" and I knew that I was the originator (so I've got that going for me). But why was he talking to my daughter? He had a girlfriend (a nice kid from Kelly's class) and Allie, while a great girl, wasn't about to have any involvement with an 18 year old, out of state college bound stud. And why was I involved?
So we waited. I had worked hard up at my parents and I was beat. I normally like to hit the sack around 9:30 on Saturday as we get up early on Sunday and walk the dog. It was past 10PM and I was dying! She called him and he said he's was on his way. They exchanged direction instructions, so I knew he was on his way for sure.
About 10:30 he showed up. It was good to see him. But why was he here? His response blew me away. He handed me an envelope with a card in it. He said that this was a little statement of appreciation from him mostly, but that a couple of other guys were planning to go in on it (Cliff & Josh, also from my class). He went on to say that I was his favorite teacher and that I made his Senior year enjoyable. He stated that he actually learned a lot (and I would validate that too...he's a sharp kid) and that he appreciated my focus on learning and understanding and not on preparing for tests and that style of learning. It also didn't hurt that I kept it really light and emphasized having fun...
But what an honor. The kid has had a number of teachers that have made an impact on his life. And now, I was included in that very special list. He had taken the time to write out a very nice note in a card, and threw in a $75 gift certificate for dinner at Cheesecake Factory and two tickets to the movies...so "the Mrs. and I could get out and have a nice night." When I was 18 years old, I was actually a fairly sensitive and sensible kid. Not at all social, but at least reasonably caring, if not way too private. But I wouldn't have ever thought of ponying up almost $100 and giving it as a gift to any teacher, let alone a part time electives teacher like me. I was truly touched and it's a card and sentiment I won't soon forget.
I once told White Shoes that when he runs for President I'd vote for him, or when he becomes a captain of industry, I'll need a job. But now I think I've totally misread him. While he'll be completely capable of any of those jobs, I think there's an even greater place in history for him. I have no idea where he's going to end up, but it will be making a difference in other people's lives, impacting them positively. I know this because that's what he said he wanted to do. And he said that he wants to do it, because that's what I did for him.
Three cheers for my pal Andrew "White Shoes" Ulibarri. A real man and a real friend.